Play # 40: The Solids

The characters in this Cezanne-derived play are:
1)  A Sphere
2)  A Cone
3)  A Cylinder
All three of them talk.

SPHERE:  Well, here we are, the three mighty building blocks of the universe!

CONE: According to Cezanne anyhow.

CYLINDER:  I sometimes feel the old man was being perhaps a little hasty when he said that.

CONE: To be strictly correct about it, what he actually suggested—and he didn’t say it, he wrote it in a letter to a fellow painter—was that painters ought to “treat nature by means of the cylinder, the sphere and the cone.”

SPHERE (a bit crestfallen):  Oh.  Well, that’s quite different!  “Treat nature by means of….”   That’s not very grand!  I thought he meant we were the basis of everything! 

CYLINDER (brightly):  Well, it’s not so bad, is it?  At least we’re a treat!

CONE: No, not like that.  He only meant “treat” as in “contend with,” “carry on with,” “proceed with.”  You see?

SPHERE:  Well that doesn’t leave us much grandeur then.

CONE: No, not a lot.

CYLINDER (ever optimistic):  But we are at least building blocks.

SPHERE (resigned):  Only until Albert Einstein comes along.

CONE: How long does that give us?

SPHERE (hastily calculating):  Let me see now…oh, about twenty-five years.

CONE (reeling):  I feel faint.