The play takes
place in a university lecture hall.
The lecturer—Sitwell Kern—has grown weary from years of teaching and is
pleased that this is to be his very last class.
KERN (showing a reproduction of The Eiffel
Tower on the screen): Can anyone
tell me what this is?
STUDENT A (laconically): A PowerPoint projection?
KERN (irritated): Obviously—but of what?
[There is a
restless silence in the hall]
KERN (patiently): It’s a photograph of the Eiffel Tower in the course of its
construction. Of what cultural
importance has the Tower been been since it was finished in 1889?
STUDENT C:
It represents the beginning of the industrial age?
KERN:
No it doesn’t. It’s too late for that. When did the Industrial age actually begin?
STUDENT C:
Earlier than the
Eiffel Tower?
KERN (irritably): Yes, we’ve established that. Perhaps you’re unclear about what the Industrial Age really
was?
ALL THE
STUDENTS TOGETHER: Perhaps.
STUDENT G (smarmy, self-assured): The Industrial Age was when man began
to dominate over physical barriers.
KERN:
“Dominate over physical barriers”?
Is “dominate” really the word you want? And what do you mean, “physical barriers”? What, like walls? What are you saying?
STUDENT F (excited): I mean we could make buildings taller and taller now because
now we could move people through them faster and we needed the dense space that
they provided!
KERN (getting angry): Who is we?
STUDENT F (joyous): We
are we!
KERN:
We are? And what do you mean by “we could move
people through them faster”?
STUDENT F:
Crowd control.
KERN (at the end of his patience): That’s insane.
STUDENT X:
Careful, professor. That’s harassment!
STUDENT J (confidently): The car was soon to be mass-produced, and would be spreading
people to every corner of the world imaginable!
KERN (unbelieving): “Spreading people”?
Like jam on toast?
STUDENT K (undaunted and with great finality): The Eiffel Tower would become a shift
in world dynamics…
KERN:
The Eiffel Tower would become a shift….?
STUDENT K (persisting): …would become a shift in world dynamics where materiality
driven advancement would determine world dominance!
KERN: Materiality-driven?
STUDENT K:
Yeh, you know, money and all that….
KERN: That may sound like legitimate discourse
to you people, but none of it means anything!
You can’t just use words in any way you want!
STUDENTS
TOGETHER: Why not?
KERN: Because then you fatally abuse their
meaning!
STUDENT H:
That’s just your
opinion.
(curtain)
