Max (pulling the car over to the side of the road, and addressing his wife—who is gazing raptly at the huge house of which she will shortly be mistress). Well, my sweet, no-name bride, what do you think of your new home?
Bride (wonderingly): It’s big.
Max: Yes, it is. And old. And dark, drafty and cold.
Bride (excitedly): Oh Max, it sounds so lovely!
Max: You think so?
Bride: Well, no, but I so very much want to make you happy!
Max: There’s just one thing. My housekeeper, Mrs. Danvers, was devoted to my late wife, and is almost certain to hate you profoundly.
Bride: Oh that’s alright, Max dear. I’m sure her animosity will prove to be diverting. [she peers up the road towards Manderley]. Here’s just one thing, though.
Max: Yes, my love?
Bride: Well, I don’t want to upset you, Max, but the house appears to be on fire.
Max: How very bothersome! And on our first day here, too! This wasn’t supposed to happen for months yet!
Bride: Never mind, darling. We’ll make do somehow.
(curtain)
