The play is set in the vales of midmost Ida.
It is the unhappy task of Paris, a commoner, to award a Golden Apple to the goddess he deems the most beautiful of all; he must choose between the fearsome Juno, the astringent Minerva and the delectable Venus. No contest, you might say. But for Paris, it’s not that simple.
JUNO: Well, little Paris, you have a decision to make. Do you fancy yourself up to the task?
PARIS: I hope so.
JUNO (pointedly): I hope so too.
VENUS: Paris. What a lovely name! How fine to be named after the City of Light!
MINERVA (looking scornfully at Venus): Stuff and nonsense!
VENUS (purring): Do you like me, Paris?
MINERVA: We ALL like you. Venus, now stop vamping our noble judge.
JUNO: He NOT noble. He’s just nobody—with a catchy name.
PARIS (sighing heavily): I would like to be as fair as possible, but Venus is just too much for me. There’s no withstanding her loveliness!
(he gives her the apple)
JUNO and MINERVA (thin-lipped with rage): Okay, just you wait until the Trojan War begins.
Venus and Paris: The what?
(curtain)
