Play #8: JUDY AND PUNCH

A Punch n’ Judy theatre, with a play in progress.  Punch is just delivering a typically rattling blow to Judy’s head, and the audience is howling with delight.  The action pauses for a moment during which time Judy speaks quietly to Punch:


JUDY: You don’t hit me the way you used to.

PUNCH:  Sure I do (raising his stick to level another blow at her)

JUDY:  No, it’s been changing lately.

PUNCH: I don’t know what you mean.

JUDY:  Your heart just doesn’t seem to be in it anymore.

PUNCH:  Nonsense!  I hit you the way I’ve always hit you.

JUDY:  No, I don’t think so.  Listen, I want to ask you a question and I want you to tell me the truth.

Punch:  Yes?

JUDY:  Have you been hitting anyone else?

(curtain)

Play #7: FENDI

(The play is set in the studio of a fashion photographer.  He is busy photographing a model—who is busy being photographed)

MODEL:  I am bustling with life.

PHOTOGRAPHER:  But you are too little for the light.

MODEL:  Thicken me with some darkness.

PHOTOGRAPHER (throwing her a handbag):  Take this big black bag.  It will be your exclamation mark!

MODEL: Whose is it?

PHOTOGRAPHER:  Fendi.

MODEL: I want a Bakelite buckle to hold.

PHOTOGRAPHER:  No.

MODEL (panicky):  My style is easy and modern.  Music is definitely a part of me.  I let you finish my sentences.   I sleep on an inflatable bed.  I am afraid of butterflies.

Photographer:  Hold still.

(curtain)

Play #6: The Wall

(A man is standing next to a wall.  His friend, passing by, stops for a moment to chat)

Friend:  “What are you doing here?”

Man: “Committing suicide.”

Friend: “How?  I don’t see how.  Are you starving yourself to death?”

Man: “No, I’m waiting for this wall to fall on me.”

Friend: “Why, is it condemned?”

Man: “I don’t think so.”

Friend: “Then how can you expect it to fall?”

Man:  “They all fall sometime.”

(curtain)

Play #5: Fliers

Orville (winged, and perched on the roof of a house):  “I’m ready!”

Wilber (on the ground, squinting up at him):  “But you’ve got your wings on!”

Orville:  “Well, isn’t that how you do it?”

Wilber:  “No, wings off!”

Orville:  “Surely not.”

Wilber:  “Yes, yes, it’s true.  Wing’s OFF!!  Gosh, Orville,
anybody can fly with wings!”

Orville:  “Even birds!”

Wilber:  “Exactly.”

(curtain)