The play is set in an almost empty rehearsal hall.
There is a table, at which sit the producer, director, writer and music director of the upcoming play—which is a mounting of Bizet’s opera, Carmen. As this audition play begins, the director and the others are interviewing a flamboyant young woman who is already dressed in full Carmen-esque costume.
Director (genially): I see you’ve come dressed in the spirit of the part!
Carmen (puzzled): I don’t understand.
Director: Well, you’re dressed in the Carmen costume.
Carmen (slightly affronted): I’m dressed the way I always dress.
Producer (smiling patiently): You always dress like Carmen?
Carmen (coolly): I always dress the way I always dress.
Music Director (sceptical): You always dress like this?
Carmen (defensively): What’s wrong with it?
Producer: Nothing, nothing. It’s just that the costumes haven’t even been designed yet.
Carmen (calmly): Well, mine has.
Director: Can you sing?
Carmen: Oh certainly. Like a thrush.
Music Director: Let’s hear you sing then. Give us Over the Rainbow or something.
Carmen (restless): No, not that. How about the Habanera from the opera?
Music Director (surprised): You know it well enough?
Carmen: Intimately well.
Director (quietly, insightfully): You’re not really an actress at all are you?
Carmen (smiling): Not really, no.
Director (fascinated): Please tell us then. Who are you?
Producer (impatient): Never mind all that. Tell her she’s got the part!!
(curtain)
